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Damien de Soto's avatar

I love these lines,

"'We can't break in. What if the police come?', If we don't, I'll worry more about those babies.'". That is totally something I would think in this circumstance and was so freaking cool to see on the screen brought to me by your eyes.

I love how you accurately capture the spirit of youth here "Don't know, let's follow," Your characters are so accurately portrayed, they are real to me in this moment. This is not something I say about many writers.

Here,

"The cat kept looking behind, checking the girls were following." You remind me of when I was young and used to smoke weed, and think my cat or dog could hear me. I would ask it to go with me places. Again, speaks to the beauty of this piece, and your excellent ability to portray the chaotic beauty of the youthful spirit.

I love what you do here,

"'I don't believe it. You are scared of a few kittens,' Amanda laughed," This shows how young people often approach fear, but also gives a multi-dimensional feel to the whole piece, because this is how I would react as well. I feel like you are capturing both child and adult in a dialectical conversation which says please don't lose your inner child, brilliant.

You gave me goosebumps here,

"In the centre of the cavern was an altar, scattered with upright female statues," I swear once, I had a dream like this. Crazy.

I love this line

" Cats are independent animals and don't require constant attention or care like a girlfriend or wife," for reasons I think are obvious. You make me think of getting my own cat here.

" A man hurt or betrayed in past relationships may find it easier to trust and bond with a cat than with a girlfriend," but had that thought lingering in my mind the whole time without me even knowing it.

The line is killer.

"'I don't like your humour, just like my ex-wife's. She caused this,' he pointed at his chin. 'I shot myself because she joked," You got me here. I loved this, such an excellent twist.

Your ending is so eerie. It gave me goosebumps. It is very Lovecraftian, who is one of my favorite writers. It made me instantly think of him, thank you for this. I am very excited you exist. There is hope for writing yet, while some may think it to be a dying art, you have captured the spirit of my favorite author, multi-layered with your own very unique multi-dimensional voice. This has to be one of my favorite things I have ever read, thank you sincerely.

Colin Devonshire's avatar

Thanks for reading.

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