Her Legs
A short dark story, set in Thailand
‘OH, MAN, LOOK at those pegs,’ said Charlie.
‘What is up with you?’
‘Maybe I’ve got nothing better to do. Study crumpets and their legs.’ Both men laughed, slapped their shoulders and ordered another round of beer.
‘Yeah, it’s okay for you. I have to work,’ Mike said.
‘You think acting is not work?’
‘You know what I mean.’
‘No, not really; I work when offered a role.’
‘You get paid a fortune for a few days.’
‘I would like to get some featured roles in a massive picture.’
‘You do well enough.’
‘Someone left me money in a will. Never mind that, does your wife wear stockings?’
‘Nah, tights sometimes, but it’s too hot.’
‘So, you know the difference between stockings and tights?’
‘Of course. What about that girl you are ogling, tights or stockings?’
‘I don’t know, but I’d love to find out.’ Beer flowed.
The lady went to the bar and ordered a cocktail.
‘My God, she has black seams; they must be stockings,’ said Charlie.
‘Excuse me, I’d better answer my wife.’ Mike walked away as his mobile beeped. He turned and saw that Charlie had moved to the bar.
‘Yes, dear, I won’t be long. I’m with Charlie, gotta go.’ The phone was dropped as Mike rushed to his friend.
‘Christ, what happened?’ Mike asked the girl. She shrugged and raised open palms.
‘He was talking to you; you must know what’s wrong. Did he have pain in his chest?’
‘No, understand Engrish,’ she answered.
Mike bent and felt Charlie’s forehead. He slapped his cheeks gently as the girl stood watching. One of the bar staff rushed around with a wet cloth and mopped Charlie’s face. The girl disappeared.
‘What happened?’ asked Mike.
‘They were talking, then he dropped his drink, lost his colour and collapsed.’
‘How could they have been talking? Charlie cannot speak Thai.’
The server was on her phone to the ambulance service. Charlie mumbled incoherently while lying on his side.
‘Who was she?’ Mike asked the barmaid.
‘I’ve never seen her before. She seemed friendly enough; earlier, she had offered me a drink. Your friend bought her a Singapore Sling. She downed it in one, then chatted to him.’
‘In Thai?’
‘Oh, no, in English.’
The ambulance moved off, and Mike retrieved his phone.
‘Darling, I will be late. I have to go to the hospital.’ Mike then looked at his screen. “He owes me money.”
‘Who has been using my phone?’ he called to anyone near. Everyone shrugged their shoulders at his question.
Mike dashed to the hospital.
‘You look better,’ said Mike.
‘There was nothing wrong with me, idiot,’ said Charlie.
‘What are you talking about?’
‘Did the police arrest her?’
‘No, of course not. There were no police. The ambulance came. She left. You are here. What do you mean there was nothing wrong with you?’
‘I’m an actor, dear boy.’
‘But why? Wait a minute, it’s my wife again.’ Mike wandered away from the bed as a nurse arrived.
‘Listen, and listen carefully,’ said Mike’s wife. ‘A young lady came into the station. I was on duty at reception tonight, but she asked for me by name. She knew my rank and my nickname. Are you still at the hospital with Charlie?’
‘Yes, how did you even know?’
‘Do this for me, please. I want you to record your conversation with Charlie.’
‘It seems I’m okay. The nurse said I can go home. But I think I’d prefer to stay the night. I told the nurse I felt wobbly, so they were about to wheel me to a private room.’
Charlie grinned while someone patted and puffed the pillow. The nurses smiled as Charlie winked.
‘So, are you going to tell me what that was all about?’ asked Mike.
‘It is a long and old story.’
‘Come on then. I’ve got time, and it appears you have too.’
‘I got an acting role in a short crap movie set here in Bangkok. I loved it here, so I stayed. My agent emails me if I am needed back home. As you know, I don’t need to work. So here I remain.’
‘Yes, I know all that. But what about that girl?’
‘That was a surprise, I must admit. I didn’t recognise her. She starred in the picture I mentioned. I was quite taken with her. So we dated.’
‘Go on, what happened?’
‘The wine was flowing, so we drank too much.’
‘Yes.’
‘I was driving my Harley. We had a crash.’
‘The Harley you still have?’
‘Yes, the very same. The girl was riding pillion. The bike came off worse than her,’ he grinned.
‘Go on, what happened?’
‘I fled the scene. Pushing the poor old Harley.’
‘You left her?’
‘Well, I was drunk and had no insurance. And I thought she was dead.’
‘Brilliant. What a star you are, you total idiot.’
‘I know I wasn’t proud of myself, I assure you.’
‘You left an injured girl and were more worried about your fucking bike?’
‘As I said, I thought she had died. There was no news in the papers or on TV.’
‘As you can’t speak or read Thai, how were you to know? Come on, there are two English-language papers.’
‘I had to return to Pinewood Studios for a casting.’
‘I see; then you returned and didn’t inquire about the crash?’
‘No, I didn’t want to draw any attention to myself.’
‘That girl knows who you are.’
‘Yes, and she wants me to pay up. But there is no proof. So what can she do?’
‘Oh look, here comes my wife.’
‘She wants to see if I’m okay; that’s nice.’ Smiled Charlie.
‘Yes, and look who’s with her.’
She stormed forward and held out her hand. Mike passed over his phone.
‘Sir, I’m arresting you…’ said the man in a brown uniform.
‘Oh, Charlie, do you want to know why she wears dark stockings with a seam?’ asked Mike’s wife.
Both men looked at each other.
‘Because thanks to you, she has an artificial leg.’ She stormed out as handcuffs clanked.
The END
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